It's a fine gemstone necklace!
It's a wallet chain!
No.
I know!
It's a . . . bra strap?
If you're as mystified as I am, worry not.
Most women my age --ok, I'll sigh heavily and remind all of you once again that I'm pushing 40 -- remember that rite of passage all girls go through: getting the first bra.
They were called "training bras," though what exactly we were in training for I'm not really sure, unless it was the endless round of giggling pre-pubescent boys patting your back to see if you were wearing anything that could be snapped.
Most of us remember the straps that were endlessly losing purchase from the little plastic clasp that was supposed to hold it in place -- looped through in some mysterious way at the top of the bra, heading over your shoulder, to the back strap of the bra.
Most women my age recall the irritating feel of the strap that would go astray, somehow wriggling from its little plastic clip and suddenly you've got one cup adroop and a strap wriggling its way down your shirt. So most of us solved the problem with the little gold safety pin. Pin those straps in place, problem solved.
Then the straps would stretch and peek out of those clever little sleeveless tops we all wore way back when before under the bicep flab started waving back at us.
The really daring girls wore cute little halter tops--with strapless bras, of course. You couldn't possibly wear a "real" bra underneath a halter top, with its around the neck ties, or those cutesy summer tops with the spaghetti straps.
After all, you weren't supposed to show off your bra straps. They were . . . underwear, right?
Well let's flash-forward to the mid-1980s, when an up and coming pop music star who has had too much print time in my local paper to bear mentioning by name yet again started wearing a bustier. No big deal, women have worn those throughout the ages, and consider it a type of "foundation garment," except that this particular pop music star was wearing her bustier as "outer wear" and not "under wear."
I'm rather glad that trend is over with.
Today's latest trend is not only letting it all hang out from flabby post-partum and pre-partum bellies and low-slung waist bands to sausage-skin tight t-shirts, but letting all your under wear hang out, too.
Regular readers have already heard the diatribe on thong underwear and churning cheeks and low-slung pants.
The latest trend is now letting the heretofore secret bra strap hang out.
I wondered, at first, why on earth women would want their straps to show. Especially those who were wearing the brassiere equivalent of "tighty whiteys." White bra straps peeking out of sundresses--which, again, straps used to be pinned TO the strap of said sundress to keep such a faux pas from occuring--are not exactly attractive.
And I'm not so sure that colored bra straps are much better.
I've seen skimpy tops worn by girls and women of all ages, and the ubiquitous bra strap is visible to all. And when I say "ubiquitous," I mean "ubiquitous," (which means being everywhere at the same time) because not only is there one duo of straps hanging out, there are sometimes two pairs or more.
???
Yes, not only are girls and women wearing ONE brassiere to keep their bosom looking nice and perky, but some are wearing two or three--with the requisite colorful straps to show off outside the outerwear.
I've even noticed this look underneath shirts where ordinarily one wouldn't worry about straps showing.
Let's be fair. I'm not ogling the fairer sex, here. But when t-shirts are so skin tight as to be virtually non-existent, it's difficult not to notice some things, like the fact that the woman in line ahead of me at the grocery store is wearing two brassieres, one of which is black.
I admit I wonder why on earth any woman in her right mind would want to wear more than one of these contraptions, since most of us would rather not wear any at all, but I've never been one to keep up with fashion. I leave that to more erudite and stylish people than myself (see Average Josephine's Guide to Life and Fashion).
Curiousity prevailed, though, and I searched the net for "bra strap fashion" and came up with some interesting hits.
There are actually web sites out there that will sell you fashionable bra straps of the ilk that are meant to peek seductively from beneath a short sleeve, neckline, skimpy top, what have you. There are also bra straps that are meant to be the focus and feature of whatever outfit you choose to wear them with. They are detachable, so you can wear your favorite set of cups (for lack of better term) and still have that fancy strap peeking out.
BraStraps.com suggests that "any outfit that you wear is a chance to further express your inner fashion soul, and bra straps are no exception." This site also recommends clear bra straps if your goal is to have focus on the upper part of your garment rather than what's underneath the garment.
Clear straps?
Ok, I'm mystified. Again.
StrapCouture.com will offer you a slinky slide show of their bra strap offerings--jeweled, beaded, lacy, biker chain for the upper crust set, pearls, and so on. Some look rather medievel. Others look rather, uh, silly.
But this is coming from someone who prefers not to have a bra strap hang out. So don't pay any heed to my thoughts on this.
On one hand, I'm grateful that the angst of keeping bra straps hidden from public view has been removed. The slippage of a bra strap can now be forgiven and not viewed as an occasion for giggles or tsks of disgust and annoyance. And I have to admit, being permitted and encouraged to show off your decorative straps - and some of them are downright interesting to see - sure opens up fashion possibilities.
Don't own a strapless bra? Don't say no to that bare-shouldered gown or top. Just get some decorative sparkly straps. Especially because that is no doubt a better alternative to going braless.
On the other hand, I'm wondering if this is one fashion trend whose accoutrements are going to end up on the PBS channel's "Antique Roadshow" some day. A curious woman, generations from now, will approach the antique expert with a query about this set of oddly lengthed necklaces. Except there's this really odd clasp, and it doesn't seem meant to hook together like a regular necklace. And are the gemstones real, and worth anything? The antique dealer will explain that 75 years ago, these were meant to be decorative bra straps--now relegated to museum displays that include garter belts. The owner of the mysterious set of straps will look astonished at the possibilities, and admit she was using them as a leash for her chihuahua and that she can't imagine whatsoever that great-grandma was daring enough to show her undergarments in public.
Well, I'm still undecided as to this particular fashion trend.
On a slightly different note, we're remodeling our bathroom some time soon. There's this really strange light fixture hanging there, with a couple yards of brassy looking chain that attaches the globe style light to the ceiling.
I'm wondering if that could be recycled for straps. . .
Naaaaah.
