Northern Michigan Notes
If a Song really Blows, Where should it Go?
By Kathy English
Oct 22, 2007, 12:30

I admit I’ve been wrongfully blaming Fergie for the inane lyrics in the song that includes the rhymes toes, nose, know, goes.

If those four words aren’t ringing a bell, you haven’t been listening to the song "Bubbly," by Colbie Caillat. She has a rather sweet voice, but if these lyrics get any more saccharine coated, I’m going to vomit on the keyboard.

For those of you who are missing out on the possibility of a great technicolor yawn, here are the lyrics to "Bubbly," which one local radio station insists on playing at least three times daily, causing listeners much grief:

(Note: all lyrics here are from the web site http://www.lyrics.com/)

Bubbly – Colbie Caillat lyrics

V1: I've been awake for a while now

you've got me feelin like a child now

cause every time i see your bubbly face

I get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes

makes me crinkle my nose

where ever it goes I always know

that you make me smile

please stay for a while now

just take your time

where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane

but we are hidin in a safer place

under the covers stayin safe and warm

you give me feelins that i adore

C: It starts in my toes

makes me crinkle my nose

where ever it goes

i always know

that you make me smile

please stay for a while now

just take your time

where ever you go

B: What am i gonna say

when you make me feel this way

I just........mmmmmmmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes

makes me crinkle my nose

where ever it goes

i always know

that you make me smile

please stay for a while now

just take your time

where ever you go

V3: I’ve been asleep for a while now

You tucked me in just like a child now

Cause every time you hold me in your arms

Im comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul

And I lose all control

When you kiss my nose

The feelin shows

Cause you make me smile

Baby just take your time

Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go…

I’ll admit I’m no song writer. And most of the time the rather simple lyrics don’t grate on my nerves in the manner that this particular song does. I guess it’s because I hear "Bubbly" on the heels of Fergie’s "missing you like a child misses its blanket" line from "Big Girls Don’t Cry," and her infamous "Lady Lumps", wonderfully parodied in crooning tones by Alannis Morissette (see youtube and do a search for Lady Lumps and you can view both videos).

I do wish that songwriters would put a little more thought and effort into their lyrics, though. I know not all songwriters are former English teachers, like Sting of the Police. But what a world of difference in lyrics–something to wrap your mind around, something to contemplate, something to enjoy. Any guy who can make Scylla, Charibdes, and Mephistopheles sound good in a song definitely has something going.

Wrapped Around Your Finger (The Police)

You consider me the young apprentice

Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes.

Hypnotized by you if I should linger

Staring at the ring around your finger.

I have only come here seeking knowledge,

Things they would not teach me of in college.

. . . . . . .

Mephistopheles is not your name,

But I know what you're up to just the same.

I will listen hard to your tuition,

And you will see it come to it's fruition.

. . . . . . .

I will turn your face to alabaster,

Then you'll find your servant is your master,

And you'll be wrapped around my finger.

. . . . . . .

I’d really rather listen to Weird Al Yankovic dominate the airwaves than put up with the trite lyrics that follow along the lines of really bad elementary school girl love poems, which usually run something like "His eyes were blue, he said he’d be true, and that’s why I’ll always love you." Ugh.

Weird Al does excellent parodies, he has much more clever lyrics, and while you may not agree that his nasal tones suit every song, you can forgive that quality for the humor it adds to the music, overall.

I hate to say it Colbie, but your song "Bubbly" really blows and

I feel it from my head to my toes

that’s the way that it goes.

It makes me wanna barf

right into my scarf

and rip my hair out of my head

and wish I was dead

whenever I hear it on the radio.

So if you are wise

You should really think twice

Before submitting such a song

for publication

Because it really sucks

Much like wet ducks

walking on the floor

Your song is a bore.